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As a woman who's been in the spa business as a therapist and a manager for over five years, I've basically seen everything - the good, the bad, the downright awkward. Not to mention, like all massage therapists, I put up with a seemingly endless stream of "happy ending" jokes all. And while everyone thinks these jokes are hilarious, the reality is that every massage therapist does have to deal with a few sexually heightened moments with male clients over the course of his or her career. But let me just say that boners during massage appointments are totally normal.

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Just because I am touching you in a therapeutic manner and sending you healing energy, this does not mean you can grab my legs, arms or try to guide my hands. This is especially true if you are erect, as this will send me over the edge and I will cut our session short.

Here's what touching is appropriate: shaking hands before or after your service. And perhaps, if you are an established regular with your therapist, hugs might be acceptable.

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But this is it. If a guy is sporting some wood and asks me to massage his inner thighs or stomach, guess what?

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I know exactly what you're up to - and I'm not going to do it. You are fooling no one. Do you think my hand is going to magically start tugging on Little Tommy because you are inviting me to massage around where he hangs out? In such cases, I'm totally disgusted and will likely give you a less-than-average-level massage, just so you don't get the wrong idea. Just so no one is confused: This is something I am asking you to do.

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Listen, to be real, clients do ejaculate during appointments and these are the incidents a therapist retraces in his or her mind over and over for eternity. We think: Was there anything that could have prevented this?

To my fellow therapists: Please remember that if this happens during one of your services, it was not your fault. Clients: Keep in mind that in the event that you do finish before your session finishes, your therapist isn't going to be able to erase this incident from his or her mind And generally, the standard protocol is for the client to be banned from returning to the spa ever again.

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And this probably goes without saying: Everyone at the front desk will look at you like a creep as you weasel your way out the front door. Now how is that for a happy ending? To be clear, my intention is not to boner-shame anyone.

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I am just educating the misinformed who think "happy endings" are a real thing - as 99 percent of the time, this is not the case. Please, thank you, and come again! Sorry, after five years of happy ending "jokes," I had to.

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As soon as the door opened wide enough to reveal Sarah her face changed. The same thing happened two more times at two different places after that.

Who would have thought it would be so hard to get a massage in the middle of Hong Kong late in the afternoon?

Title: Why I Write - WhyIWriteAuthor: Heather Simon Created Date: 7/27/ PM   I'd never had a massage before. So we went to the first place just off the main road. They had a little neon sign of a foot with pressure points on the door. Seemed legit Welcome to H&M, your shopping destination for fashion online. We offer fashion and quality at the best price in a more sustainable way

Finally, Sarah gave up and decided to get her hair done instead, but by this stage, I was all psyched up and really wanted my first massage. So we split up, she went to get her hair done, I continued my massage mission.

I ended up finding a little place on the third level above the salon.

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It was real clinical looking. Almost like a little doctor surgery.

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A local woman in her 40s opened up and finally, this one was open for business. She was very welcoming. She ushered me into the little room, pointed to the towels and told me to strip before she came back in two minutes.

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She was doing my back, my lower back and moved down over my bum to my legs. About 25 minutes in, my body was so relaxed, I was almost falling asleep.

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It must have only been her little pinky, but it brushed underneath the towel. Must have been an accident.

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But, a few kneads later it happened again. Only this time with the tips of two fingers.

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It was a little higher up the back of my leg and a little further between them By the third time, I was wide awake. Marisa thalberg.

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Take care of your health and wellness today. Candle lit room, soft relaxing Spa music in the back ground. Draping always Optional. Hot towels after the massage. Clean Linens, Clean Towels, Shower Available. Certified and Licensed Massage Therapist. Swedish Massage $60 / Hr $90 1 1/2 HR. Deep Tissue Massage $60 / Hr $90 1 1/2 Hr   As a woman who's been in the spa business as a therapist and a manager for over five years, I've basically seen everything - the good, the bad, the downright awkward. Not to mention, like all massage therapists, I put up with a seemingly endless stream of "happy ending" jokes all. the. time Search the world's information, including webpages, images, videos and more. Google has many special features to help you find exactly what you're looking for

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  • This Post Has 2 Comments

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