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IT IS 7. I am just about to leave the house for a night out with friends. I have checked I have a spare pair of tights in my handbag, ensured that the working remote is actually in the oldest child's hand - no more panicked, 10pm ''WE CANT FID [sic] THE CONTROLLS!!! I walk into his ''study'', where he is listening to a reggae compilation, while contemplating his new Fotheringay mug, which is full of tea. He has a happy look on his face. There is a pause.

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I refuse it, then wake up, trying, and failing, to make any sense of it. We fight over the phone, as I walk back to my job from lunch, and I burst into tears in the lobby of my office.

We did, however, become friends.

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Ugh, do I sound like a romance novel written for awkward teenage virgins or what? And yet, it feels very true. It often feels like BF and I spend every waking second together, but he does have his own apartment - a total bachelor crash pad in Astoria - and he is there tonight. DAY FOUR 8 p. Sometimes we have fantasy threesomes; other times, we just describe particularly hot sex that we had with other people. My panties have a tear in them, and BF requests that I wear them to sleep so that he can rip them off me when we have sex first thing in the morning.

DAY FIVE 11 a. As promised, he tears at my red lace panties. Afterward, we contemplate saving them as a memento, but end up chucking them. They take us to a fancy dinner and a performance of Wicked.

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While I answer their innocuous questions about my career, I try very hard not to think of the sex we had in his childhood bedroom when we visited over Christmas, where I pretended to be his high-school English teacher. DAY SIX 10 a. I am supposed to make progress on some work projects today, but somehow, between laundry and other totally mundane things, the day slips away from me. I put a pair of purple cotton panties on him and some black thigh-high stockings.

We are both crazy for black thigh-high stockings and the way they feel on bare skin. I love looking at BF in lingerie for some high-minded reasons - because it shows how vulnerable he is willing to get with me, how close we are, and how much he trusts me.

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But really, I think I like it most for the same reason people like lingerie on women: I like the feeling of satin and silk and nylon under my fingertips, and I like the visual reminder that I am about to get laid. DAY SEVEN 5 p. I heart New York?

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I want to, but I feel like I am literally about to pass out. BF tells me he is tired, too.

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At first, I plan to just watch, but I start getting into it, rubbing his face and chest, talking dirty. I get very turned on watching this in general, and think of asking to join in, but when he finishes, I feel relieved - I really did not have it in me pun intended.

We come up with a lot of joke band names. Totals: one hand job performed; one hand job received; three acts of oral sex performed; two acts of oral sex received; four acts of intercourse two of which involved a man wearing panties, one of which involved a woman wearing panties. Would you like to take part in the glorious tradition that is the New York Magazine sex diaries?

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I don't care for it. Better than oral, better than sex.

28/7/  I Want You to Spank Me. By Andrea Frazer. Jul 28, I just returned from Blogher. This annual writing conference,focusing on women's contribution to the web, took place in San Francisco. I 14/2/  The Female Editor Teaching Her Cross-Dressing Boyfriend a Lesson. Every product is independently selected by (obsessive) editors. Things you buy 15/9/  IT IS pm. I am just about to leave the house for a night out with friends. I have checked I have a spare pair of tights in my handbag, ensured that the working remote is actually in the oldest

My ex and I talked about it before he wanted to try it. I thought it was gross and didn't think it would feel good.

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At some point we were fooling around and he was eating me out while I was face down on the bed with my butt kinda sticking out a bit. Well he went from front to back and then just spent some time there. He just kinda licked and kissed softly. And his hands would be on my ass too, caressing. I'm sopping wet afterwards and nothing gets me more relaxed and ready for sex than that.

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It's like muscles I don't know I had get relaxed and I feel like I'm an overcooked spaghetti. I fucking love it. If you like oral, then it's nice to have someone go down on you all the way and all over. Just make sure you're clean why wouldn't you be so bacteria isn't transferred from your ass to your vagina or urethra. I wish there were less awkward ways to bring it up with new partners If you've never done it, at least give it a try!

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It won't hurt or anything! I'm not sexually sensitive in that area, so it's boring. I can't see my partner enjoying himself, so I'm alienated by the whole process. The positioning is uncomfortable, and it would be outright rude to use the time to do my nails or read a book or get some work done or anything else that I have to do and want to do.

And, on top of that, because of the dynamics of the situation my partner is putting his mouth on my yucky bits it also sounds hideously unappreciative for me to complain about the tedium.

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So the additional emotional labour of that dynamic gives me a feeling of, 'Ugh, not this again'. Wasn't too exciting and doesn't feel simulating for me but the fact that my boyfriend loved licking it turned me on so much and made me feel sexy and confident.

And it just felt like a warm, wet thing by my asshole. The poking with the tongue feels better when I'm really horny, but it's okay otherwise too.

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The licking is certainly hot either way, actually. TBH, I prefer getting my toes sucked, but it's still something I can enjoy.

Neither toe sucking nor ass eating are on my list of the greatest turn ons, but there are still fairly pleasurable. I'd rather get eaten out.

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